Nothing incredible is accomplished alone. You need others to help us, and we need to help others. With the right people we can form a web of connections to make the seemingly impossible practically inevitable.

The Lord once said to me “you can either be good alone or be the best with input”. This statement made me think. I concluded that the Lord was trying to tell me that I needed healthy relationships and I needed input from people. More than that however, He wanted me to be a team player. There are various elements of a team that cannot go unnoticed. Firstly, when one suffers in a team, all team members suffer. If one receives glory in a team, all share that glory. Teams are good, not because they have brilliant players but because those brilliant players play within a team. Scripturally speaking, all of us have received a grace to do what we are doing (1 Corinthians 3:10). Praise God that we are all unique and different. Being part of a team, I have noticed that men and women have different “graces” on their lives. Some of them are brilliant in evangelism, teaching, caring and counselling. Others are good listeners, good administrators or just full of joy. All of these people make up a team. If they weren’t there, then individual brilliance would not matter. In the Church we are described as the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12). This suggests that all of us must work together for the greater good of the Kingdom.  For example, not all of us can preach, lead worship, work with money and so forth, but in the Body of Christ there will most definitely be people gifted to do so. One of the biggest frustrations that I see in people’s lives is when they do things they haven’t been graced to do. We must have round pegs in round holes.

It is important that we learn to value people more than how we measure them.

Whether we like it or not, people will always be part of our lives.  I want to give you some good tips on how to maintain healthy relationships with those around you:  

1. Be a good listener

Most people will reveal what is in their hearts by the way they talk. If we listen carefully as they speak, we will invariably discover the true contents of their hearts. As we listen more closely, we will find that we talk way too much when we are with people. I have listened, with great amusement, to people speaking, all the while revealing how important they see themselves. Many egos are just too BIG. In today’s world we need good listeners. Sometimes people won’t say out-right what they mean; however, the golden thread is always revealed if we listen carefully.

2. Be an encourager

We should encourage people and see in them the things, which they don’t see in themselves. We need to speak well of all men, and not only of those who we like. As Christians, we don’t have the option of liking; we must love all people, and look for opportunities to give praise. We ought to encourage others wholeheartedly, with sincere appreciation.

3. Help out

We must be people who are ready to serve those around us with the attitude of the Lord Jesus Christ (Philippians 2). Nobody likes a person who has an aura of self-importance or arrogance. I have a friend who serves me so well that I almost feel bad at times. This guy goes out of his way to serve me. He carries my bags, brings me water and cold drink, and takes care of my every need when I am ministering. Because of this, the favour of God is increasing on his life and he is growing faster than most around him, JUST because he has a servant attitude. Some of my biggest opportunities in ministry have come with an attitude of “sure I will help”. People like contributors and not consumers. In today’s society, we have become expert consumers. The spirit of the day says “gimme, gimme, gimme” all the time. The Christian attitude should not be “gimme”, rather it should be “how can I help?” Think about the nation of South Africa for a moment. There are people out there who just criticise, who are so-called experts on how state affairs should be run, and they post their vile comments on Facebook and splash conversations full of their judgmental attitudes. These types of people sadden and sicken me, because they won’t lift a finger to bring about necessary change. They won’t go and clean the park or pick up litter in the street. NO, they just blame, blame, blame. This is NOT Christian character at all. Jesus disliked this attitude very much in the life of the Pharisees and the Sadducees who went to all lengths to gather followers, but then they twisted those followers to an even worse spiritual condition. When we have a “HELP OUT” attitude, success will find us.  

4. Be there

When we are “be there” types of people, we won’t only be a distant friend in heart, but we will “be there” when assistance is needed. At some point we all will need a shoulder for support. Many, many years ago, while still a young student, I went through a very bad relationship breakup. I fled Pretoria to regain some sanity. The one place I knew I could go to for full acceptance, love and care was my grandparents’ home. I arrived at their house with no money, just a toothbrush I bought at Spar. They took me in, fed me, loved me, cared for me, listened to my stories and gave Godly advice. After a few weeks I gathered strength and courage to return home and face the music.  I did this with confidence in the Lord. If it wasn’t for the “BE THERE” type of people in my life I don’t know what would have happened.

Spend time with people who see you the way you are on your good and bad days! Spend even more time with those who truly know you, and who love and respect you unconditionally.

In Life Groups are we are surrounded by people who love us and who are on the same journey as us and it is here that we learn to listen, help, support, care for and love another as God intended! We are family – His way!



Father, I understand now that I must be a team player and that relationships are important. I also know that You have always intended for me to be part of a Family! Please help me to value people and not to measure myself against them. In Jesus’ name I ask. Amen.

This EXTRACT was taken from my book, “Unlocking Destiny”

Become a disciple today and let’s advance His Kingdom together!

Reach out to us via email: